The Trials of Being the Little Brother

David has been my big brother my whole life. That relationship has had its ups and downs—or rather, its downs and ups. As kids, we were always at each other. David’s weapons of choice were his knuckles. My upper arms had permanent bruises from where he would sock me when he got tired of my favorite weapons—my words. I was a past-master at egging him on. We’d be playing with our American Bricks, green army men and Tinker-toys, when one of us would do or say something to irritate the other—then, Off we’d go, yelling and punching until Mom or Dad would intervene. I don’t know how they dealt with David, because I always got sent to my room. Of course, I always felt very abused.

As we got into our teens, we weren’t in each other’s faces so much, because David was out of the house much of the time, either hanging out with his friends or walking in nature. But there was still a lot of bad blood between us.

When we grew up, we each came to understand how important we were to each other, and we became friends. I was very happy to become uncle to his children, and the joy I took as we began to make music together. I was so proud when David finished his college degree, and when he chose to work with retired volunteers. I was honored when he and Sally asked me to officiate at their wedding!

These days, we get together often, usually at my house simply because I have more room and a bigger kitchen. We’ve developed a sort of standard two-day schedule: ad-hoc lunch when they arrive—usually brought by Sally; singing at Mom’s piano; David building a fire in the fireplace; cooking for supper—usually some recipe I’ve found that can feature some of David’s mushrooms, then more singing and playing a game. Next morning we eat breakfast. I try to figure out something good, such as the French toast we had last time. Then more singing, them packing, and off they go to feed their cat and get on with their weekend.

I admire how David has brought his care for others over from his work into his private life. He has been involved in starting funds to help others, and has personally been hands and feet for friends in need. He and Sally take their music into care facilities to bring joy to older people. And it is a blast to watch David rock out on his sax. He plays with the joy of a little kid, though he and Sally put a lot of time and effort into perfecting their music.

I’ve always been pretty private about my inner life, so it was a bit of a stretch lately when I admitted to David that I was feeling very depressed and needed his support. There wasn’t even a beat. Immediately he gave me the love and support I needed. He and Sally helped me get my legs back under me. And part of that was suggesting that we collaborate on this blog. Thanks, Bro!

In early March, we are together driving to California to see our sister Nancy and brother-in-law Rick—and I hope we’ll also get to see all the nieces and nephews and grand nieces and grand nephews. Perhaps in a future post each of us will share some memories of growing up with Nancy as our big sister. And of course, that will mean that we will have to give her a chance for rebuttal!

One of my favorite comfort foods dating back to my childhood is “Hamburger High-Hat.” It’s basically a 1960’s version of Stroganoff. I’ll put it in the Recipe page.

5 Comments

  1. You Layton boys are a fine match and this blog an informative, delightful, refreshing breath of fresh air.
    Suggestion – I don’t know for sure, but I would think the magazine “Iowa Outdoors” might be interested in your writings – just a thought.

    Thanks for sharing!

    • davelayton54

      Thanks for the good thoughts Dianne. I like Iowa Outdoors too – Dave

  2. Monica A Clarke

    Hello Layton brothers. I sat down at my husband’s computer and saw this Blog open. Since Dave and I have been friends for years, I had a great time reading. Charles, thank you for encouraging Dave in his faith AND in lending my husband and I your name for our firstborn son. We call him Charlie or Chas, never Chuck. Do you have a preference? I remember hearing about your sister when a woman who had recovered from a stroke with the help of friends, published a book about the experience with your sister’s help. The author rode a bicycle across the country and stayed at my brother Jim’s house while she was in Clinton. Your whole family must excel in helping people. Dave has made music with my husband (and some of my kids) over the years, and we were recently reunited more when our little church went under. We began attending where Dave and Sally go and have enjoyed their music a lot. Thanks for sharing gentlemen. It has been a joy reading your posts.

  3. Charles Layton

    Hi, Monica, so good to hear from you! As David explains in one of his posts, it’s pretty much just family–and people who know me through the family–that call me Charlie. I like that because it reminds me that I’m named for my Uncle Charlie–my Dad’s younger brother. Normally friends call me Chuck. I’ve never been “Chaz” except in jest by a few of my friends. When I was in junior high and high school, I took myself very seriously and insisted that people call me “Charles.” Hehe, I still have a couple of high school friends who call me that–especially when they think I’m being pompous, which I admit I can be at times. Yes, those were good times when Meghan was traveling with my sister Nancy on her book tour.

  4. I don’t recollect ever meeting you Charles, but I first met Dave in the string bass section of Junior High Orchestra – when I was in 8th grade and he in the 9th. We hung out together in HS – and have maintained our friendship ever since — although it’s been over 40 years since I’ve lived in Iowa.

    salut!

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